They talk, hed says hed rather not have a kid and would like her to get an abortion. )boyfriend who got the woman pregnant. He had sex, she got pregnant, presumably its his, and hell provide support. But they should try and work together to create a decent life for the child it does not have to be in a relationship with one another though. Now its your turn to sit in her chair, Dr. Sherry,My fianc cheated, we broke up but then got back together. Consider paring them down a bit. You bolster my case by agreeing that he can share responsibility with the mother or simply provide support but he does not have the option to opt out entirely, which is something the pregnant woman can do. But there is no ensuring that the child is cared for in an adoption. Its a great idea, really, for someone who is unfit and probably on the verge of abuse or something else horrible. Adoption is a completely different matter. Whether that be by having the child, supporting the child, adoption, abortion, whatever. The dude having sex is not my issue. April 10, 2012, 7:09 pm. Seriously, no wonder so many of are all too stupid to understand where babies come from. I agree with you regarding being a part of the childs life but I dont agree with you on the money aspect. he was told that he could not have any children so i thought she wasnt his. The fact that a child is adopted does not somehow guarantee the theyll be cared for. iseeshiny Im not saying this guy is wonderful by any means. The pill doesnt stop ovulation in all women. Its such a heated issue, because everyone knows someone that has some sort of baby-mama-drama on one side or the other. Both sexes suffer from inequalities in the reproductive process due to biology. But let me make a few suggestions Steve. I feel like life for me hasnt gotten better and Im tired. Its easier just to blame her and act like hes an innocent victim, but hes not. haha I agree. No clearly this is a brilliant way to be supported for life. Everything is he: He is in love with you, so in love that he humped another woman; so in love that he wanted to kill a baby to be with you. 4. April 10, 2012, 10:24 am. April 10, 2012, 8:46 am, he does not have the option to opt out entirely. April 10, 2012, 5:06 am, Still, itd be nice if so many women werent so often so shamelessly dishonest about this, wouldnt it? She says the girl says she got pregnant while on birth control, puh leaaaaaaaaaase. If its not easy and its not what one wants, opt out of it. Lets wait to have sex until we have a bigger place. iseeshiny He didnt expect that to happen. No one has a condom, Lady says Its cool, Im on the pill and Dude says awesome, I already took my Viagra anyway, cant really run to the store. They bone. Thats certainly the type of person you want as your husband. And this is the problem with having sex in a non-monogamous relationship and not fully protecting yourself. Those double standards take up too much room. BACKFIRES! 2. reader, Lisa Belize+, writes (22 September 2009): A No one knows if adoptive parents end up being fabulous parents. This dude barebacked some girl, knocked her up, demanded she abort, and then said he wouldnt take responsibility for his child. Copyright 2023 Dear Wendy. Exactly where is there a grown-up here? There is no rhyme or reason. I know it is hard since you love this guy to see how reprehensible he is. She wants to live in a dorm with her friends and no way is she missing weeks of school to give birth. Or until we decide to start a family., By that logic, virtually every dude on the planet is an idiot. He chose not to take the steps to avoid making a baby, and to avoid putting himself (and you!) thats why both parties should be concerned about preventing pregnancy because you have no idea what the other person is doing. So, youre wondering what is it about her that he is willing to commit himself and give his all to her. April 9, 2012, 6:25 pm, Jesus fucking christ! oy. For more information, please see our Answer (1 of 60): I would drop kick him out the door. We should use it more often. Marriages (or partnerships) are not secondary to parent-children relationships; nor are they primary. I agree with you, as well. April 9, 2012, 9:16 pm. April 10, 2012, 10:34 am. Now, I highly doubt the LWs boyfriends baby mother to be is psychotic as my friends former hook up. April 9, 2012, 4:18 pm. She might not have been on the Pill, but that was a risk that he chose to take by having sex with someone he knew for two minutes without a condom. April 10, 2012, 5:01 pm. I think that gives you a little time to get on her good side and work on those shortcomings. She didnt ask for any help with the other women so why would people be throwing out their opinions on that? Stop insulting her and learn to see the situation for what it really is. Honestly, I did grow up craving a strong male presence in my life and have always gravitated towards male professors or bosses who wee willing to play the role of mentor. This letter is written by someone who wasnt even involved in the conception of the child, so I dont believe there can be an objective reading of the circumstances. When I hit the ground, I jumped up, pulled the safety clip off the release assembly and slapped it. April 10, 2012, 5:49 pm. Its not right Im sure I wouldnt. It only says he asked her to. He has to fit the baby into their life, not the other way around. There is no way to know this. Picture Perfect Poster Girl: Taylour Paige Stars As "Boogie's" Leading Lady, UPDATE: Jesseca Dupart Denies That LisaRaye Found Out About Da Brat's Pregnancy Via Social Media, Your Weekly Helping Of Tidday Meats & Treats On The Gram, Cougar Chronicles! wendy, i love you for leaving the crazies to us! Doesnt matter if they took every precaution to design the worlds best bottle. April 10, 2012, 6:43 pm. April 9, 2012, 2:39 pm. Her mother supported her and helped raise my sister for the first couple of years. He probably knows shell be a lousy mother. Men cant choose to abort because biology dictates that the fetus is not in their body. Oh, and of course, hes also called a dick, and ass, and other choice names. They should be used. By this point I had already invested so much in the relationship that I wanted it to work regardless, but no matter how much I tried he didnt want to immediately get back together. You pack of hypocrites. Anyway, he ended the relationship with her and surprise, shes knocked up. They had just gotten back together after finding out she was pregnant. make sure you use back up protection! Oh I agree that its a bad idea, but still a choice to be made individually. evanscr05 And how do you know you wouldnt do the same thing she is? I think that the thing to keep in mind is that the angry ranters are really just a very vocal minority. I dont usually ever think letters are fake, but this one MIGHT be fake. November 19, 2012, 3:02 pm. Actions have consequences. If the man doesnt, apparently you feel that he should not have that option. The adoption process has a pretty involved vetting procedure- meaning that birth parents can reasonably assume the child will be cared for by the adoptive parent or parents. Because believe mehes not into anything but what he wants and what he likes. But, you allowed him to call and you were hoping he had changed. I want to get angry but I don't know if it's considered cheating. When you ended it you knew it was over. Exactly why I advocate abortions in those cases. Id drop this guy in a heartbeat. He must be a complete scumbag, because no one ever has sex without a condom unless they intend to have children or are scumbags. Its unfortunate that he may potentially be a life-long relationship as parents with this woman, in addition to the legal responsibilities for the child, but any 40 year old man knows that is a potential risk. But, yet, again you let him back and hoped things would change and he would be with you. I dont have a problem with that. bittergaymark Therefore, when having sex with a woman, you must assume that she could get pregnant and could keep it even though you dont want it; or on the flip side, abort it even though you dont want her to. She still doesnt get it, but we tried. I actually work in a field that deals with this, and let me tell you, the women who are actually applying for court ordered child support will be lucky to get $400 a month. Terminating his Parental Rights just means he has no say in childs education, no visitaton, etc. Yeah, but theres a lot of harshness toward the LW as well. . You and John are both arguing something that nobody else is. Really, people. Rarely, does a woman bring a man on the show to announce that hes pregnant and the responds with Id prefer you have an abortion.. . And shame on you for agreeing that he is entitled to this opinion. You need to be consistent in your line of reasoning.. He sounds self-entitled, immature, arrogant, an all around horrible person. And more amazement with people who just cant live without a relationship with someone who has no concern about coitus with people outside of matrimony with people they just met.. This poor unborn child who I feel very, very sorry for already, is not the problem. Steve Kellmeyer April 10, 2012, 10:28 am. He has an obligation to use condoms until he is in a committed relationship to prevent unwanted pregnancy and to prevent HIMSELF from contracting an STD (and thus spreading it around). It is actually quite easy. He slept with his ex-fiancee once, and now she's pregnant. Maybe that outrage will be the catalyst for you to start a political career in order to change these laws that you feel are so unfair. There is no inherent unfairness in current laws child support is gender-blind. Also who goes around talking about how he cant stand the mother of his child? That child has done nothing wrong and doesnt deserve to be thrown in the middle of these grown-up problems. Then how does the woman get off require the man to do it? Might he have continued sleeping with her? He didnt want a baby? He can change his mind at any time and will likely get visitation at minimum. And, like an immature asshole, he decides he doesnt want to own up to his responsibility. ColorsOfTheWind makes excellent points, and I agree; however, Id quibble with the phrase grown-up problems. It really isnt fair, but that doesnt mean we have to make it more unfair. landygirl Its a sad situation when an unplanned pregnancy happens between two individuals that arent committed to each other, let alone two individuals who actively dislike each other. If they dont want to be taken, then they should think before they poke. Actually, the most powerful and damaging ever dont Gingrich, Cheney, Santorum, and Bush spring to mind. * However, if you bang and get knocked up by tiger woods (quite possible given his standards) you will be set for life and hence a lottery win is born. April 9, 2012, 10:29 am. Hes scum because he abandoned a woman he impregnated.. Jess of CGW Susie is pregnant with Jimmys child. Going through a breakup can be tough.It can leave you feeling restless and struggling to fill the white space left behind by the relationship. And yes, women do use the laws to trap men into financing their lifestyle of choice (as a single mother).. Thats what responsible men who want to have sex with women and dont want children do. This man in the letter has spent those same 25 years being an ever-aging manchild. Maybe she IS trying to entrap him. He loves me and doesnt care about the mother but wants to be there for the child, but said he doesnt have to and wil wait for the DNA test. And the man? And without condoms?! He is placing all of the blame of this two minute relationship that resulted in a baby on the women, and that is pretty shitty. Any woman who, in a divorce, grants custody of the children to the father is an immature asshole, and any woman who spends her life in her career an allows the father to raise the children is an immature asshole, because, in each of those cases, the woman is just as guilty of abdicating the role of parent as the guy here would be, and in many of them, she also doesnt even provide financial support. Shall I and all the other taxpayers? The hand and fingers were all bright red and black-and-blue under the nails.
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